19 August, 2015

How To Have Confidence In Spite of Social Media

It's almost too easy to compare yourself to others.  We're constantly submerged in social platforms, scrolling through images of beautiful people, and are seeing plastic surgery at younger and younger ages.  We read terms like "on fleek" and "baddie" and often feel the pressure to look like the other women we see.

I was about 2 years late to the Instagram life.  I was happy not having one, because I knew that the moment I created one, I would find myself aimlessly scrolling through beautiful women and end up on their cousin's brother's page, having no idea how I ended up there.

I was recently having a conversation with my friend, and we were talking about how we follow much more women than men on Instagram.  We're not scrolling to see man candy, but we're searching for makeup, fashion, and sorting through gorgeous girls that we begin comparing ourselves to.  I work full-time in the beauty industry, and I do have an interest in makeup, fashion, and fitness.  I enjoy following many of these pages, but I know that these are only for inspiration and entertainment.

Here are a few of my top tips to keep things in perspective and to not compare yourself to others on social media or in everyday life:

Try not to compare yourself to others - This sounds easier than it is.  As women, I think we automatically compare ourselves to others.  It's almost a natural selection in process 24/7, but there's a big turn when comparing yourself becomes unhealthy.  We walk through the aisles of the grocery store subconsciously comparing ourselves to others, at the mall, constantly thinking "Her butt's bigger than mine, her legs are more toned, her waist is smaller, her hair's better".  We scroll through Instagram and gaze at other women's beauty wondering how they look seemingly perfect.  It's ridiculous.  These other women are not you.  They have qualities that you don't have, and you may never have them.  Be OK with that and keep it pushing.  If you find yourself constantly measuring yourself against others on social media, get off of it.  If you're comparing yourself in person, make a conscious effort to view yourself as your own, separate, unique woman, since that's exactly who you are.  Plus, keep in mind that we put our best face on social media 99% of the time.  I probably won't post a picture after doing 45 minutes of cardio (but let's get real, that rarely happens anyway).  I've posted plenty of photos without makeup, but the majority of my photos are of myself when I feel most put together.  Many women on social media go through a lot to take the photos you see: lash extensions, false lashes, a wig, lip injections, makeup, tan, the whole shabang.  Of course there are thousands of women who are naturally blessed with fantastic qualities, but always remember that we don't look our best all the time, but we're able to capture our best with photos and put those out there for the world to see.

Natural Makeup for Green Eyes

Find qualities that make you you - This is one of my favorite pieces of advice, because I found that once I started doing this, I wasn't constantly comparing myself to others.  Find a few physical qualities that are unique and make you feel most yourself.  What's something that others have always known you by?  For me, it's my hair.  When I was young, I had Shirley Temple ringlets, and people would always ask to touch my hair and would tell me how beautiful it is.  I hated it, and I made it my mission to straighten my hair throughout middle and high school.  I refused to accept that my hair was curly, and rather than embracing what I had, I wasted hours, dollars, and energy on hating my hair.  Now I rock my curls quite often (it might also be because I actually know how to do my hair now), but I wouldn't change it.  My hair is a quality that makes me me, and I see the positives rather than the negatives.  I'm able to straighten it one day, wear it big and curly one day, and I have a warm blanket in the winter.  Find at least one quality that differentiates you, and when you're feeling down about your appearance or being hard on yourself, remind yourself of the qualities you're lucky to have.

Dark Curly Hair and Natural Makeup with Kylie Jenner Lips

Accept your "flaws" - You should be used to yourself without makeup.  All of this "sorry, I'm not wearing makeup" BS needs to go.  Never apologize for looking like the most pure version of yourself.  Another helpful tip I've found is to accept your "flaws".  The reason I have flaws in quotation marks is because often times other people don't see these as flaws at all, and you're probably just being too hard on yourself.  If there's a quality that you don't love about yourself, get over it!  Accept that it's a part of you.  If you accept your own flaws, others won't be able to use them against you.  I used to hate my nose, and I would do everything in my power to take photos from certain angles to have it look the way I thought was best.  Not very surprisingly, nobody really noticed a difference, and in fact, my friends and family love my nose.  It's something that yet again makes me myself.

Natural makeup look with Anastasia Beverly Hills and Mac

Natural eyebrows foundation and makeup

Workout - Get off your ass.  Move around and get your heart pumping, blood flowing, and muscles workin'.  I find that I feel my best when I'm in the middle of a good workout or when I'm leaving the gym satisfied.  I feel strong, powerful, and know that I'm doing something to better my body and mind.  Don't wear makeup.  Let your skin breathe and de-tox.  Take some time to yourself and hit the gym, go for a run, or get a group together and workout together.  Working out also releases more endorphins, so you'll naturally be in a better mood and will see yourself in a better light.

Women's boxing workout

The most important tip I have is to just be a good person!  Be you.  If you feel good about the type of person you are, that's what people will see.  Make a name for yourself and have your looks just be a perk.
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