25 October, 2017

The Importance of Saying No

I've been brainstorming about topics to write about.  My brain is constantly buzzing with ideas - Sometimes to the point where it's overwhelming and I don't even know where to start.

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I've really been enjoying talking more about overall health.  Internal, external, health, fitness, self love, the whole shabang.  I feel like this year has been dedicated to really tapping into, dare I say "discovering" myself.  If you're anything like me (headstrong, stubborn, strong), saying that sometimes feels a little cheesy or basic.  But it's true.

I wrote a post earlier this year about how this past summer was going to be jam-packed with me time.  Just to go more in depth and summarize what the months before that decision looked like: I decided to (pretty impulsively) switch jobs into something I had never done before, go through things within that job that tested my morals and self respect, ended up losing that job, lost another job that I was working at the time, and went through a breakup.  All that.

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I used to be the type that would think about all of that and play the victim "poor me" card.  Nobody likes anyone that plays the victim card, and what's the point?  Shit happens in life, and somebody always has it worse off than you.  At the end of the day, I might've had low days and felt like crap sometimes, but I still had a pretty damn good life.

We always talk about self discovery, our quarter life crisis, and things that happen that make us step back and say "WTF AM I DOING".  This was that for me.  I could feel all of these changes happening, mine just happened to all be at the same time.

So, I had no choice but to jump in head first.  Can't really test the temperature and dip our toes in when life tells you to just jump in and swim around for a while.  

So I allowed myself to travel, be selfish, completely ENJOY myself in ways I never had been able to before.  I always had excuses - work, somebody else, plans, money, you name it.  This was the first time in my life that I only had to worry about me.

What do I mean by the importance of saying no?  I'm talking about saying no to anything that takes away from this time.  If you're going through any chapter of self discovery, or even if you've completely figured out what path you're on and what you're doing with it (hats off to you, you should write a book), you can probably relate to feeling drained and overwhelmed with something.

For me, that something is spreading myself too thin when it comes to pleasing other people.  We always talk about how important it is to say "yes" and be a yes man.  Take every opportunity that comes your way.  Put tons of shit on your plate so that you are kept busy, checking things off your to-do list, networking, putting yourself out there.

I'm constantly doing that.  I was so used to saying yes to every social event I was invited to, every person who wanted to grab lunch or hangout, do something that may have benefited them more than it benefited me, and I'd become so dang frustrated.  

I'm just now understanding how valuable our time is.  Time is money.  Seriously.  

If you have a goal you're trying to reach, a level of peace, or are just tired of feeling like you're always giving too much of yourself, DIAL IT BACK.  Don't stop being giving if that's part of your character, but know when to say no.

I've been saying no to anything that seems to take away form what I'm trying to build, any person who seems to not bring anything positive, beneficial, or uplifting to the table, and anything or anyone who makes you feel any setback.  

Sure, some people might call it selfish, but I call it strategic.  Be strategic about who and what you keep in your circle and how you spend your time.  All those things become you, and we only want to become the best!

Saying no is just as important as saying yes.  I think we all need to realize what's worth saying yes to and when it's time to say f* it and focus on ourselves.
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