The Time I Got Called Fat

I've been weirdly looking forward to writing this post.  I know that might sound crazy, but when this happened to me, I felt immediately compelled to share it because THIS alone is one of the main reasons I started sharing my health/fitness journey and why I think it's so important to speak up, be open, be human, and not be a b*tch.

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SO...yes, the title of this post is exactly what I'm talking about.  Let's talk about WHY I feel so compelled to share this story.  In no way do I ever want to write about negativity, but I think this is so important to share when it comes to body image and our self confidence, how we view ourselves, and how we treat others.

I was chatting with one of my girlfriends a few weeks ago, and she mentioned that she had a falling out with another friend of hers.  She felt like her friend was always talking about others and didn't have too many nice things to say.  No bueno.

She mentioned her friend had made a comment about me and my body.  I'm the girl who's always trying to support other women in health/fitness, and when I see women working hard, I point it out!  I had "liked" a few of her photos on Instagram. 

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The girl mentioned to my friend that she didn't want to like any of my photos back because "I didn't even look like I worked out" and "I look flabby".  

...Think about that for a second.

Let's start with the act of speaking negatively upon other women.  WHY do women still feel the need to put another woman's body down in hopes of making themselves feel better?  Talking down on someone will never make you shine brighter -- I don't know why that's still so hard to comprehend.  

WE (women) are the main cause of our own problems.  We like to blame men, media, magazines, etc. on body image issues, but I think it's safe to say we create our own issues.  Not that the others don't play a part, but why do we want to add fuel to the fire?

Another woman, who works in fitness as a personal trainer (LOL, right), felt compelled to verbalize that she thought I looked flabby.  

There are a few issues here that stand out to me BIG TIME.  One, I can't understand why other women feel the need to say things like this in the first place.  Two, especially if one works in the health/fitness industry, which is all about helping others become a better version of themselves and reach their goals, why would you ever say something like that about another person?

Three, I'm an active woman who trains hard at least 3X a week.  I do look like I work out.  I might not have a typical "fit" body, but I feel confident in saying that I look like I do a little somethin' somethin'.

Why justify that?  Because this cycle of putting women down HAS TO STOP!!!  Regardless of what I do or don't look like, why would another woman want to put me down?  We're all supposed to be on the same team, and we continue to create competition, negativity, and a divide.

Had I heard this comment a year ago, I probably would have let it ruin my day...maybe even my week.  Shoot, if I heard this when I was 12 or 13, I might've let it completely take over my life.

I took time to think about my reaction after hearing this, and I realized how much growth I've had with myself over the last few years.  It takes work to learn to love yourself, love your body, and not give others' words power over you.


I truly hope at least one woman sees this post and can relate -- Please understand that if you've heard something negative and just petty like this, it's not YOU.  People speak negatively upon others out of jealousy, dissatisfaction, and anger.

You, your beautiful body (fit, curvy, thin, WHATEVER), and your existence are not the reason for someone's hateful comments.  They make these because of issues within themselves.  Pray for them and laugh it off.

It really makes me sad that there are still women who say these things, especially in the health/fitness industry.  This whole putting down certain body types has to stop.  Like now.

I might not have the most toned or thin body, but I have my own!  I work hard, I push myself in the gym, and I enjoy my damn life.  I might have 2-3 cocktails at an event and munch on some cotton candy when I feel like it, and I eat that cheeseburger when I crave it.  I make good decisions frequently with my food, but I love to eat and that'll never change.

OK, maybe I'll have to put down the cotton candy when my metabolism starts to slow down, but I'll never subscribe to the extreme diets or fads.  

Women, please please stand together and play on the same team.  Lift each other up.  Lift YOURSELF up.  If someone says something "hurtful" about you, think hard and ask yourself if it's true.  Love yourself and know when someone is speaking out of pure anger within themselves.  Don't let that rub off on you or your shine.

So, cheers to a good dessert, a glass of wine, an active lifestyle, and happiness.  I truly hope someone can see this story and laugh at how silly hateful comments can be rather than giving them power.